10 Shitty Life Hacks

1. If your phone gets wet, place it in a bag of rice. The rice will attract asians who will fix it for you.
2. Save money on expensive binoculars by just standing closer to the object you want to look at.
3. Use the metal part of your seat belt to open beers while driving.
4. When using a urinal, pull your pants all the way down to ensure no one uses the urinal next to you.
5. Take a dump in the shower. It washes down the drain and saves time and toilet paper.
6. Get almost anything for free by simply running away.
7. Shoot yourself with small calibre bullets so you can gain an immunity to larger ones. Helpful in the event of a home invasion!
8. If you have dry skin, use steel wool to scrub it off easily.
9. Microwave your spoon to cut right through that rock hard ice cream!
10. If you're drowning, pretend you're dead. The water will think you're a corpse and you'll float to the top!