Your country's history in 20 words or less

This land is your land? This land is my land - USA

Empire. Gone. Tried to conquer with force. Bad. Again.  Really bad. Conquer with money. - Germany

We were once really important but now we make pasta and shoes. – Italy

Glowing in the dark since 1986. – Ukraine

All is fine. No more questions. Eternal President will lead us to victory. – North Korea

Looks like the sea wants to kill us again. – The Netherlands

We love you England, but get out, please. – Canada

Two world wars, one cup – England

Sure we'll take your money. – Switzerland

Sure we'll go for a walk. - Navajo Nation

Criminals placed on an island that is repeatedly trying to kill them. – Australia

Proud back to back World War avoiders. – Sweden

Thanks so much, Sweden. First you fight Novgorod over us, and then you leave us out in the cold. – Finland

Went to war with everyone for centuries, surrender once, are called a country of pussies forever. - France

We are one of the oldest and wisest cultures. Welcome to Dell technical support, my name is Steve. – India

Vodka, monarchs, oppression, space, hockey, new flag, Putin, vodka. – Russia

Muslims in India hated Hindus. Created new country for muslims. No hindus. Hate each other. – Pakistan

Maori come and kill birds. Whites come and kill Maori. Lord of the Rings filmed. – New Zealand

We had a huge empire, now everyone thinks we're Spain. – Portugal

No potatoes. Potatoes. No potatoes. Fine, thanks. – Ireland

No potatoes. – Latvia

Stuff frozen. Stuff slightly less frozen. – Antarctica

We did a bunch of shit for mankind like 10000 years ago, now we're bankrupt. – Greece

Raped, looted and pillaged our way to being the most content people in the world. – Denmark

Viking glory. Ruled by others. Oil. – Norway

Digest with re-edit from here.